The Fall of Arya

I'm posting it here because, well I'm unknown - no family members and friends who personally knows me read my blog.  This is also the main reason why I can't blog properly - even if I wanted to, I just can't focus.  It's hard to admit but I am depressed.  No, not the kind no the lightly kind of depression most are saying as an expression but the mental sickness or that's what I think.  I wanted
to consult a doctor but I can't find any who I can trust easily - I mean my family can't take me seriously and most of my friend just make fun of me when I say it.  It's just alarming that I tick all the symptoms that I can find on the internet.  I know I shouldn't rely on the internet but I have no one to talk to about what I'm experiencing without being judged and most people wanted a concrete explanation of what I'm feeling but unfortunately it's unexplainable.

Please if you know someone who suddenly feel distraught or have a sudden change of attitude and wanted to talk to you, listen to them without judging.  Just listening earnestly helps and you might save his/her life.

Right now, the temporary solutions that I have is randomly writing, trying to be active by running and I'll probably enroll in a yoga class again, and sudden splurge which I'm trying to get rid in my system (it's costly) - I'll try to focus on the second option.

I don't know what's wrong with me but hopefully, the always smiley me will come back soon.